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12 Mar 2007: Welcome About.com readers.

Today’s Amgen Tour of California website asks Ian Lurie “Why the shaved legs”?

Bicycle.net, ever on the cutting edge of bicycle blogging journalism got an exclusive interview with a famous cycling Wookie who breaks with tradition.

Why The Shaved Legs?
By Chewbacca (translated from Wookie using Babelfish)

Whenever I tell anyone that I raced for fun a long time ago, the first question is almost a sure thing:

“Why don’t you shave your legs?!”

And lose all my sponsorship money?!? Have you ever seen a hairless Wookie? It’s not a pretty sight.

So, why don’t Wookie cyclists shave their legs? I’ll answer to the best of my ability. I’ve never given a straight answer to anyone, but I’ll try:

NOT Because it’s Faster
I guess that, in the strictest terms, shaving your legs will make you a bit more aerodynamic. But c’mon. You can get a bigger advantage by removing your heavy blaster gun and bandolero. Have you seen the pushing and shoving on the Tour? Ever seen someone with a cat dander allergy? A lot of cyclists have respiratory problems so they keep their distance from my fur.

Note: In water, it’s a different story. Wookies have no problems with unseen creatures in Death Star garbage compactors, but you don’t want to be near a wet Wookie. It’s why you won’t see us in triathlons, ever. And trust me, wet Wookies smell. Bad. Really bad. Stick your thumbs in your eye sockets and rip your head off bad.

NOT Because It’s Cool
Some folks suggest that it’s just because other racers do it, and we’re all joiners.

Gotta tell ya… chicks dig hairy guys. Who got the babes at college? The long-haired guys. Yeah, it might cost a second or two, but if you don’t place well in a race, cuddling with a gal after a race can take the sting right out of a loss. Ask a shaved guy who comes in 43rd. He is NOT going to get lucky that night. Me? I gotta chase the cycling groupies away with a lightsaber.

NO Because Of Accidents
Humans on motorcycles wear leather to protect from road rash. Wookie pelts have similar protective qualities. We hit the pavement and the outer layer of fur kind of slides and is almost frictionless. I’ve never seen a Wookie with road rash.

The Wookie
So, there you have it. In my opinion, you humans shave your legs out of self-preservation. No amount of glamour, glory or coolness would ever make it worth it for this Wookie. I’ll grant that I envy Ian Lurie’s ease in dealing with wiping off guano while in motion.

About the Author
Chewbacca has been a bike messenger, competitive cyclist, bicycle tourist and occasional co-pilot for Han Solo. He now lives in Venice, where he is VP of Sales for Revlon in the hair products division.