Does it “Matter”?
The Cranky Mechanic
One of my favorite cycling photos is the one of Albert Einstein riding a bicycle in a suit.
He also once said, “matter can’t be created or destroyed”. Yes there is nothing better than playing hooky and going out for an afternoon ride. But “matter can’t be created…”, I beg to differ.
I had grabbed a bunch of quarters and headed to the dark caverns of my $1,400 a month crackerbox apartments laundry room. I don’t know what’s bigger, my apartment or the laundry room. At that price, I actually care! I pour the detergent in first, counter-clockwise, twice around the agitator. Because I can. Gentle cycle for the cycling clothes. I used to hand wash them all, but then, like high priced Campy stuff, I don’t care anymore. In goes the clothes, arm warmers, bibs,,, all lycra stuff. I have added nothing to this concoction, just soap and water and lycra.
I put 4 more quarters into the thief’s dryer. Yeah, I know, Its a business. You are still a bleepin rip off artist. In goes only lycra, and some moisture. 30 minutes later, I have nice clean dry clothes, and a “cough-twice” full of lint! Where the hell did this stuff come from? I can see how you might get a bit from cotton clothes and some towels, maybe some particulants in the air, but from lint free lycra? And not just a little, but a LOT!
A flower child had once come up to me and asked me to help save the trees, “we are destroying them” , and “would I support her cause by buying some cross-weaved hemp thongs?”, as I did a reverse backflip off the Panda Express menu board. I flippantly told her to go from dryer to dryer, and collect all the lint mysteriously created by lint free lycra and regular clothing, and weave that into undergarments and thongs, and to quit destroying the damn hemp plants!!!
Puzzled, she stuck her hand out anyway. I gave her a “cough-twice” full of lint, and she was on her way.
What was once only lycra, water, and soap, created both lycra and lint. “Matter”, Albert, has thus been created.
Till next time,
Uncle Chad
Categories: Cranky Mechanic, Features, Hub, Humor
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I think that the lint comes from all of the socks that have been sucked up into the vortex. They are slowly converted to lint and returned to other dryers across the universe.