By: Uncle Chad
Look at all the shiny new bikes. Seems like a $6000 rig is today’s flavor of the month. I recently walked into a coffee shop at the end of a ride, and began a conversation with a 50-something. Who knows these days. She commented that cycling has become the “new golf”, as I almost chewed a hole through my lip.
As I was a golfer since I could walk, I couldn’t disagree more. (If I agreed, there wouldn’t be this column!). Golf, like cycling, is a sport that can also be played at every age. However, if you suck at golf, you’re most likely not going to get any better. “Time to face the facts my fellow divot-challenged-lawnmowers”. Cycling, however, it seems the more you train, the better you (can) get. Unfortunately, golf has priced itself right out of its’ own market! What seemed to be the attraction to golf; exclusivity, fifty grand a person initiation fees, expensive clubs, hand made putter covers, and six dollar balls, only has a shortened the shelf life of interest for the crappy hacker. Ha! Cycling is relatively free after your purchase, with minimal out of pocket maintenance afterwards.
“My husband is training to ride across Colorado!” she squeaked. “He bought a Cervelo, have you ever heard of a Cervelo?” she whined in my ear. “Of course I have”, I said as I strangled the last bit of life out of my blueberry scone, a quick windfall for the growing number of sky rats gathering around my feet. “He’s going to fly out next month and ride 100 miles a day for 2 weeks” she bragged. 1400 miles eh? I couldn’t do 100 miles 14 days in a row if there was a free Cervelo at the end of it. “I bet there’s no cell phone coverage either”, I sassed. Stone-faced, she took a sip of her latte.
Maybe cycling is the new golf! What better way is there to kill 5-6 hours in one shot, 3-6 times a week? Instead of a bar, it’s a coffee shop? Instead of new clubs, it’s a new bike. Of course you’ll need a backup bike, a time trial bike, a track bike, fixie, singlespeed, commuter, cruiser, 3 sets of wheels for each. And what’s wrong with hanging out at the coffee shop for hours on end. Believe me honey, the money will, and can be, spent. With forty the new thirty, fifty the new forty, carbon the new aluminum, Vicodin the new Valium, what better analogy to add to mix with “cycling is the new golf”?! The only consolidation I had for her was that her husband was giving up golf cause he sucked.
Till next ride….
The Cranky Mechanic
6 Responses to “The Cranky Mechanic – “The New….””
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Uncle Sean!!!! YOu are the funniest!!! This is my first read, but I feel I know you already. Thanks for the laughs,
sheila in Miami
My parents had the golf bug, and tried to infect me with it, but it did not take root. Despite the $6000 bike issue, at the bottom cycling many hours a week is about pain tolerance and exertion, very often alone. There is far, far more status crawling in the world of golf, with the fine art of snubbing not only about equipment, but aspects of social status as well. There aren’t exclusive country cycling courses, nor carts or caddies to do the heavy lifting for you. There’s no need for special facilities (the rare velodrome excluded), and all that goes with that.
I don’t know if there is another recreational activity that combines capital-intensive equipment for participants with lack of special facilities and low incremental expense the way cycling does, making it hard to be “the next X”, because there is nothing quite like it.
Any form of motorsport needs a facility or reserved place to paticipate (track, course, closed desert); Boating requires a place to put the boat; Tennis needs courts, and is not that expensive to outfit; downhill skiing needs facilities; cross country skiing isn’t that capital intensive; Surfing isn’t capital intensive the same way.
Maybe equestrian riding? You can buy a horse at almost any price point, and can either ride with facilities or without, and can get as snobby (or not) as you want to be.
TBV
Cycling is definately the new golf, and trust me, training is only going to get you so far in cycling too (just like golf) in the end physiology and natural talent is not something you can buy or train to overcome (unfortunately). If you suck at cycling your most likely not to be riding the tour de France! (EPO anyone?)
Just like golf there is always something else you could buy that might not make you suck so much, like that carbon bidon cage for 120 bucks – you NEED that (forget the fact that you’re carrying an extra 40kg round you’re middle, saving 15g on a bidon cage has to make you faster – doesn’t it?)
I beg to differ with Trust but Verify. In his comment he states “There is far, far more status crawling in the world of golf, with the fine art of snubbing not only about equipment, but aspects of social status as well”. A lot of the club riders will pass you on the road and look down their noses at you. They refuse to acknowledge your existence on the road if you are not riding a $5k bike and flying Club Colors. This is why I have ridden alone or just with select friends for so many years. I still ride the roads and say hi to people as I ride, I offer assistance to people with flats and stop for people who have crashed. There is definitely snobbery and conceit in cycling. Just come ride the roads in SoCal to see!
Robert, is the snobbery in cycling? Or in SoCal?
Hi, this is really nice post i like it so much
thank very much