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…About Cat 5s Racing  On $5000+ Bikes

I mean, last year when I put down $5G+ for a swe-e-e-e-t SystemSix at a local bike shop, nobody even carded me! I rolled out of there happier than a teenager who’d just copped a twelve-pack of Bud from QuikStop!

And I don’t need to tell you, but therein lies the problem. 

How could I have known that this bike was dangerous in my Cat 5 hands? Someone should have said something. Someone should have taken away my skewers. But no. The guys at the particular LBS — they just took my money and told me to come back anytime if I need adjustments. Sure, adjustments. Or more carbon, right? Anyway, I left feeling like a bike junky at that point, but I had what I came for and couldn’t turn back, you know? I knew somehow what I was doing was wrong, and that people might get hurt, but I needed my carbon-fix.

I’m trying to get straight now, though I still use carbon. What can I say? I’m weak. I’m slow. I need it.

Obviously my situation is shared by many Cat 5s, from what I see on the shop ride. And it’s no less a problem than underage kids wanting to buy beer or meth or whatever.  In my opinion, the only thing that’s gonna make a dent in this behavior is when law enforcement starts sending Cat 5s into LBSs to buy Madone’s and SuperSix’s and stuff — and then arrest or fining the owners if they don’t make you show a USAC card to prove you will be responsible with your purchase. 

Over-reaction?

Hardly. 

Here’s the sordid story of my predictable downfall that all started from that one moment of weakness on my part, and lawless and wanton actions of said unnamed LBS in giving me all the carbon I could afford.

Just as one would expect, I started abusing it. If there are impressionable children or Cat 5s reading this, you might want to ask your parents before you go any further.  It gets ugly real quick.

At first, I abandoned my family more and more often to get at it. A couple hours on Saturday, then Sunday too, then evenings during the week. I snuck out for no other reason than to get a hit of carbon. I used it all over town, and in public parks, on our family’s vacation (though never while we were driving) and even sometimes on the way to and from work. I’d show up all sweaty and flushed and people would ask what I’d been up to, and I’d just say “riding my bike” and then I’d rush off to the showers. I knew I looked like a mess, and probably scared people I passed in the hallway.  They didn’t want to touch me, that’s for sure.  

But people saw that it went even further than that. It affected me a lot of ways: my emotions, my appetite, you name it. Sometimes I hit it more than once a day, and God I always felt good afterward. But that’s how these addictions work, isn’t it. I started to get skinny, no matter what I ate.  Even hours after I’d come in, I’d break out in a sweat just sitting at my desk.  My metabolism was out of control.  That’s what carbon does to you when you use it.

Whenever I could, I found myself hanging out with others who were abusing carbon, and sometimes we’d also share CO2 while we were out, when we went flat. It didn’t matter, we could get more of anything we needed at the LBS, right?

Of course, it just got worse over time. Not only was I getting my carbon fix all over town, but I started using it while I raced. I was really paranoid I’d be busted. You could always tell which Cat 5s were strung out on carbon, but I concealed my condition by sneaking off the back of the pack as soon as the race got underway. It always worked. In two years those race officials - never - asked me to give a sample. Guys who went off the front though, they were at much greater risk of being caught. I was clever figuring out how to skirt the system this way.  Others weren’t so clever, and they’d stand on the podium just asking to be caught, as far as I was concerned.  But that was their problem.

My behaviours just got more risky. One day, one slick, dark, rainy day, I couldn’t help but “use” carbon at a crit race called Winghaven. I didn’t think I could compete and win without it. Not when all the other racers were on it. The conditions were treacherous, but did I slow down? Did I give other riders extra space? Not when you’re using carbon, baby. And there were DOZENS OF US Cat 5s out there irresponsibly hitting the carbon. Amazing, I know. And very sad.

Who could have been surprised when the crashes started? 

Yeah, I promptly went down and ran over a good friend, who’d also been hitting the carbon too hard and didn’t make it around the bend in the road. Then another guy ran him over. Before it was over, my friend was covered with tire marks and I was bleeding and required bandages. I came home that day and my family knew it had all gone too far, and they told me to seek professional help. I went to the urgent care center and they patched me up.  I didn’t bother to mention what I was doing with carbon.  

Now I can see clearly that I should have been racing my old price-appropriate bike and should have hung off the back instead of riding in the pack. I know that now. But when I was using carbon, I believed I could sit in the pack. I was even moving up toward the front when I’d gotten in over my head. It’s that kind of thinking - Cat 5 thinking - that gets you in trouble.

While the bike wasn’t harmed, I learned that day how wrong what I did was, and what carbon can do to you if you abuse it. Ever since, I’ve been speaking publicly about what I did, and telling people to be responsible when visiting their local bike shop. Otherwise, they could end up like me.