One of the “perks” to working in a shop is getting to interact with the fine folks who ride a bike out of circumstance rather than choice. There’s really not a lot of subsets to this species of cyclist. They either fall into the “lost license due to excessive drinking” category or the much more interesting “can’t get a license due to being insane” segment.

I’ve worked in three different shops in three different parts of the country and even though it’s been a good decade since I’ve seen him or even thought of him. (It’s amazing the trauma the human mind can block out.) I gotta say I about fainted when this mug shot was forwarded to me after it made Perez Hilton’s Mug Shot Hall of Fame.

When I first entered the exciting realm of working in a shop, Greg Gabel was my very first regular crazy and to this day he’s still solidly in my personal top two crazies of all-time. Considering my current location, Greg’s achievement is nothing short or remarkable and it would really be a Battle Royal between him and another fella to determine the king of the bike riding crazies.

What makes Greg so unique is the fact that he is unique. I have yet to encounter another cross-eyed, body shaving, daisy duke wearing, amateur exotic dancer who supplements his income by selling blood plasma. And if that wasn’t enough, Greg rides around shirtless any chance he can and he’s the only non-OJ Simpson person I’ve ever met who’s been a murder suspect.

But wait there’s more- the last time I saw Greg, he was fresh out of jail and burst into the shop proclaiming “Dr. Bob! Dr. Bob! I’m back and my new bike needs some care! His ride of choice that day was a ladies’ Huffy Stalker. Considering his most recent brush with the law was for being a crazy Stalker the irony is thicker than a female track racer.

I sincerely hope Greg’s latest round of legal woes quickly pass but on a positive note, his gracing of the internet with his presence nearly crashed Facebook with sheer number of mutual friend shop rats past and present who had a Greg Gable story to tell.