Aaron Wise is another one of Ritte’s star mountain goats. The longer and nastier the climb, the more he seems to get off on it… it’s creepy really. On the surface, Aaron’s a gentile, unassuming fellow, but show him a little wheel on a recovery ride and you’ll have an all-out race on your hands. Look for Aaron to be one of Ritte’s go-to guys next year.

So Aaron, you obviously have a thing for long, drawn-out self-torture. What’s wrong with your brain? Too much glue-huffing as a kid?

It’s the voices in my head.

Have you been formally diagnosed with any neurosis?

I have three sisters. Does that count?

Sisters do count. Tell me about Everest Challenge this year. You won a stage. What kind of training were you doing to pull off that kind of result?

I was riding about 250 to 300 miles a week with at least 10,000’ of climbing. There was one day that I left the house at 4:30 am and rode thirty miles to meet Alan Zarembo for a training ride at 6:00 am.

I heard about your 200 mile day. How’d that happen?

I headed north on Pacific Coast Highway. Eventually I decided that I should turn around. By that time I was almost to Santa Barbara. When I got home I was at about 185. I figured I might never be so close to 200 again, so I put on my lights and rode around Hollywood for 15 more miles.

What’s your favorite LA-area ride?

I love to ride up Angeles Crest to Mt. Wilson.

So you went to film school. Is that where your Kubrick beard came from?

I did study film at CalArts, but the beard came a couple years later to tone down my boyish good looks. Plus the ladies dig the Al-Qaeda look… it makes me seem more dangerous.

And I bet airport check-ins are more eventful too.

As a fellow facial hair sporter, what’s your opinion of Terry Crouse’s mustache? Is it more LA cop, or Village People Cop?

Village People, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

(Aaron and Terry show us how to wear the facial hair.)

In your expert opinion, what’s the best cycling film of all-time and why?

“Hell on Wheels”. Pink jerseys and EPO kick ass.

They do kick ass, Aaron. They do.

Speaking of films, Bicycle.net will be hosting Ritte’s sure-to-be-classic cycling bits next year. Would you rather direct, DP, write or act?

I trained as a cinematographer, but who does not want to be a movie star? Although I may have to learn how to speak first.

At the Mt. Hood Stage Race next year, you an Alan Zarembo will undoubtedly be finishing alone together at the top of the 20-mile climb to the Mt. Hood Ski Resort. Will you hold hands as you cross the line, not caring who finishes first, or will you duke it out?

I hope to cross the finish line riding on Alan’s handlebars.

So you’re a Vegan? What did meat ever do to you?

Well, I …

If you were trapped on an island and you could only eat one thing for a year, would you choose:
a) Tofurkey
b) Steak
c) Lettuce

Those are shitty choices.

Wrong. The correct answer is Steak. Speaking of meat. In an Alive-type situation, which one of your teammates would you eat first?

Eat the domestiques.

But then who will bring you the bidons?

What flavor Prolong do you think would go best with human flesh? Blueberry or Lemon Lime?

Blueberry.

If you were born in Flanders, what would your name have been?

Van der Goat.

Ah, I see what you did there with the “goat,” good one. Very clever.

Thanks, Aaron.