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By: Uncle Chad
Look at all the shiny new bikes. Seems like a $6000 rig is today’s flavor of the month. I recently walked into a coffee shop at the end of a ride, and began a conversation with a 50-something. Who knows these days. She commented that cycling has become the “new golf”, [...]

Join the forum discussion on this post ROME, April 8, 2008 (AFP) - Eddy Mazzoleni, third in last year’s Tour of Italy (Giro d’Italia), has been handed a two-year ban by the Italian Cycling Federation (FCI) for his involvement in the “Oil for Drug” affair, the FCI said on Tuesday.
[...]

Tired of taunts of “like a fish without a bicycle” and “you run like an octopus”, Aquaman finally gets even…
Related headline: Got Flood Insurance? Owners Urged To Be Ready

Originally, I thought the Tour of California sounded like a lovely family-friendly vacation involving, perhaps, an RV and the Redwoods while my children were galloping through fields of poppies.
There must be a big bicycle race coming to California. I can tell with almost complete accuracy when there are exciting happenings in the cycling world. [...]

Apartheid is an Afrikaans word meaning “separation” or “being apart”.
[SATIRE... sort of]
Is it now accurate to use apartheid to describe a policy that exists in France in the latter 20th and early 21st centuries? This system is used to mistreat and deny opportunity to superior non-French cyclists. The ASO allowed the French minority to [...]

New Year’s Resolution to go Nowhere.
Hello there. My name’s Bobby. I work at a bike shop. Actually, I’ve worked in a few bike shops over the years. I didn’t really set out to. It was just something that sorta happened on its own during college. I was enough of a fixture at my neighborhood [...]

I have always wondered why drivers do not do this more often to cyclists. Let’s just be glad they don’t.

Eating while driving is inadvisable and very dangerous, but at least you have a bunch of “car” between you and the thing you are about to run into. Not so when you’re on a bicycle, which is why this BreakFast tray, seen at the PanDan site–which holds your breakfast AND has a slot for a [...]

This is a very funny parody of a small stage presentation. It is titled the “American Beauty” by the Bicycle Players. I can remember my first time too, all that pressure to not let my partner down. Watch this video and tell me you can’t relate.

Floyd Landis: Up the River Without a Pedal.
Space for rent?

130mph? On a bike. Yeah… right. Yes, right!
Enough with the news about Floyld Landis for a moment… gravity beats chemistry as Austrian rider Markus Stoeckl used a Chilean ski slope with a 45 degree drop to get up to speed. The 33-year-old broke the world record for downhill series mountain bikes [...]

Gotta hand it to Floyd for plugging along…

PARIS—A small but enthusiastic crowd of several dozen was on hand at the Tour de France’s finish line on the Avenue des Champs-Élysées Tuesday to applaud the efforts of the 28 cyclists who completed the grueling 20-stage, 2,208.3-mile race without the aid of performance-enhancing drugs.

Great Britain’s Bradley Wiggins finished the final 56km time trial in [...]

Lycra, anyone?
“I bought you something,” said my husband, as he went through the mail after work. These are words a wife enjoys hearing. Not because of the item, mind you, but because it’s nice to know they’ve been thinking of us. He tears open a package and hands me something in a [...]

Time to look back at our Top 5 Doping Excuses in Cycling

With the elimination of contenders coming fast and furious, I was inspired:

Check out Monkey Dust’s The Cyclists.
Cyclists are above the laws of nature. We knew that. This is just more smug. A lot more smug. Funnily smug.
And don’t worry, your dog is biodegradable.

Laugh all you want… scoffers!
See the evidence of 2006 Tour de France winning cyclist Floyd Landis scoffing at the Paris Hilton, yourselves!

And is there any truth to the rumor that the troubled Miss Hilton will demand that a certain well-known French lab known for its incompetence test her specimens?
You want real news on the weekend? [...]

Floyd Landis, who won’t be competing in this year’s Tour de France, is unlikely to stay at the Paris Hilton, choosing to stay far from alcohol, EPO and other risky substances.

We at Bicycle.net think that Paris could evade the cops by hiding behind her bicycle.
OK, we’re sorry for that.
Sort of.
Not.

In Giro Helmet Helps Saves Man Head When He Gets Run Over By Truck, we noted the story of a guy who brakes and flips over his handle bars and his luckily Giro-helmeted head is run over by a truck.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, here are a few thousand more:

How this happens:

Of [...]

… but you can’t make it downshift without a jockey pulley.

Apparently from the Tour de France.

Long before Howard Stern fans would call shows to yell “Bababooey”, before Jay Leno, before Johnny Carson, there was Steve Allen… with a beardless and deadpan-funny Frank Zappa goofing on Steve and his studio audience with two bicycles, two drumsticks and a bow.
Welcome to the Tonight Show, circa 1963:
Watch: Part 1 | [...]

Imagine this. It is 4:30 am on the morning of your bike race. You, the friendly neighborhood cyclist, are fast asleep. You spent an hour or so the night before setting out all of your gear, maybe a little longer making sure that your bike was perfect and that you printed out [...]

Does anyone remember the old Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups commercial where someone eating while carrying chocolate collides with someone else eating peanut butter?
How could a half century of anything named Beer Bike be a bad thing?
Started on a whim by three students in 1957, Rice’s cycling and chugging competition has grown into a well-organized event [...]

Would you want to be anywhere near a bicycle used by or downwind of someone who used only one sheet of toilet paper?
“only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”.
Maybe Lance Armstrong left Sheryl Crow for using only one sheet of toilet paper [...]

OK, I admit I have a dark sense of humor, but after getting chewed out in the comments for the previous video where children had non-serious bike accidents, I figured I’d toss this out for your amusement. It runs just under 10 minutes but the expressions prior to the accidents are pure 1950’s kitsch… and [...]

Disclaimer: Bicycle.net does NOT approve of allowing children to ride without proper safety gear. While in most clips in the above montage, the pratfalls were of adults, it seems that there was no serious injury to any of the children. We hope that parents will see how easy it is to get [...]

Last Sunday (3/11/07) was the Murrieta (which happens to be the home town of Floyd Landis) criterium bike race. I decided to go to this race well over 2 months without really looking at what I was getting myself into. I went online, signed up and completely forgot about this race until a [...]

For Monty Python and cycling fans.

It is a beautiful Sunday morning in Southern California. In our surrounding neighborhood there are families going for walks, breakfasting at the Coffee Bean, or enjoying a lazy morning at home. At any given moment in my house there is a baby attached to my chest and two preschoolers who are either:
a) fighting, [...]

12 Mar 2007: Welcome About.com readers.

Today’s Amgen Tour of California website asks Ian Lurie “Why the shaved legs”?
Bicycle.net, ever on the cutting edge of bicycle blogging journalism got an exclusive interview with a famous cycling Wookie who breaks with tradition.
Why The Shaved Legs?
By Chewbacca (translated from Wookie using Babelfish)
Whenever I tell anyone that I [...]

Here is how NOT to finish a bike race.
Yeah I win!
Crap I’m out of control!
More crap, I’m down!
Swimming in crap, I LOSE!

Ivan Basso DNA test proven cleared

Photos of Ivan Basso with Anna Nicole Smith neither confirmed nor denied by the staff of Bicycle.net.
< / humor >

I had a serious case of deja vu when I saw the new uniforms on the controversial Unibet.com cyclists:

Oh, wait, that’s not them.
CyclingNews reports
Unibet’s win made a strong statement after their inclusion in the race was threatened earlier this week. Just before the race, organizers granted permission for Unibet to take the start, but [...]

Copied shamelessly from Cycling Training Tips, a blog we’ll be referring to more frequently:
Top 5 Doping Excuses in Cycling:

Tyler Hamilton: “I have a twin that was never born. That’s why my blood contains a different blood type than my own”
Floyd Landis: “I had some beers and whiskeys last night. I have a very high natural [...]

So I looked at the bicycle glossary, and I’ll admit I had different definitions:

Attack: General Patton’s favorite word.
Baby head: On top of baby neck.
Block: What my kids like to stack.
Bottom bracket: Where Ivy League football teams are placed in the national rankings.
Bridge: Card game.
Bunny-hop: Not quite as much fun as the Hokey Pokey.
Carbon fiber: What [...]