How To Be A Good New Rider

Hey there, been a while. Hope y’all are having a good summer. I sure am. Seemingly every week has featured a mini-vacation and I’ve been lucky enough to be able to bring a bike along most of the time. When I first started riding, to get in on a group ride you actually had to know people. And those people had to invite you to join them. Now in the 21st century finding a group ride is as … [Read more...]

A Fat Guy’s Rules for Cyclocross

As someone who barely squeaked into the Top 40 in the overall standings of the SoCal Cross Prestige Series Single Speed B category, I am now staring down the barrel of a long and lonely offseason. Sure, I could use this time to devise and enact a training program to propel myself into the stratospheric heights of Category A mediocrity but considering I’m now a more decorated cyclist than Johan … [Read more...]

You’ve met Greg. Now meet Craig.

A while back, when I wrote about Greg Gable, my first bike shop crazy, it was always my goal to do a follow up piece on the fellow who is the thunder to Mr. Gable’s lightning. However, one of the amusing quirks about crazy people is that they’re not exactly the most predictable. Seemingly the day I wrote about Greg, my current huckleberry fell off the face of the earth. Up until that point … [Read more...]

A Story So True Only One Name Was Changed

Dear Diary- Today was one of the more “interesting” days at the shop. Just when you think things can’t get any weirder, weird goes to a whole new level. Remember, Francesca the mean old lady I wrote about a few years ago? Yeah the one who’s pretty much the female version of Monty Burns, except more much more frail and meaner? She was the one I said I wouldn’t think twice about … [Read more...]

A Message for Lance

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A Message for Lance. (You know who I’m talking about. As if there’s another Lance.) For whatever unexplainable reason, the most common call to any bike shop is one that can be answered a multitude of ways that don’t involve picking up a phone. On a recent busy Friday at the shop, the phone was ringing off the hook with seemingly endless run of the same question asked more ways than … [Read more...]

Hey Dude, Where Is My Discount?

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Written by: Bike Shop Bobby Hey there, been a while hasn’t it? I’m still alive and kickin’ it down at the shop. Even though the economy’s in the toilet it seems every dirtbag and their brother still has room in their budget for a new fixed gear which adds nothing but joy in to my life. Recently though we had a guy come into the shop who at first glance was the perfect douchebag to … [Read more...]

Top 10 Reasons Why Armstrong Says He and Contador Will Get Along Great

Armstrong and Contador Showing The Team Astana Pride

Top 10 Reasons Why Armstrong says he and Contador will get along great. (AKA why Contador will be working for Lance next July.) 10. The promise of crazy good bro deals at Mellow Johnny's Bike Shop. (Applies to regularly priced merchandise only) 9. I won't hesitate to call Jan Ullrich out of retirement to come sit on you. 8. Someone's lone testicle is now named Alberto. 7. Because … [Read more...]

How To Enrage A Fixed Gear Riding Hipster

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Written by: Bike Shop Bobby Wanna know the absolute without a doubt best way to enrage a fixed gear riding hipster? Suggest that he actually ride his track bike on the track. I know it's a bizarre concept but when I dug that little nugget out of my cesspool of advice, the advise nearly slashed my throat. It started out as typical as any Sunday could be. Before the doors even opened a … [Read more...]

By The Power Of Grey Skull – Or, Why The Power Meter Is Ruining My Life

Do you want to know the fundamental difference between the common cyclist and a bicycle mechanic? Sorry if you don't. I'm going to tell you any way. A cyclist will lay eyes on that new, must have wonder product and immediately start fantasizing about how that product is going to transform them into the cyclist they've always dreamed of being. A bike mechanic will barley need a glimpse at … [Read more...]

Seven Observations From The First Week Of The Tour de France

1) Craig Hummer needs a nickname. I suggest The Leprechaun. Why? Because until this swim coach/bull riding commentator showed up at the Tour de France, I thought there was no announcer on earth worse than Al Trautwig. But nope, Versus achieved the impossible and found that mythical creature without all the hassle of going to the Land of Make Believe. Well, played Versus. Well played. A rodeo was a … [Read more...]