THERE SHOULD BE A LAW OR SOMETHING!
…About Cat 5s Racing On $5000+ Bikes
I mean, last year when I put down $5G+ for a swe-e-e-e-t SystemSix at a local bike shop, nobody even carded me! I rolled out of there happier than a teenager who’d just copped a twelve-pack of Bud from QuikStop!
And I don’t need to tell you, but therein lies [...]
Previous Stories
- Study: Olympic and Tour de France Enhanced Performance Drug Testing Flawed
June 26th, 2008Join the forum discussion on this post - (2) PostsInternational Herald Tribune: Study shows problems with Olympic-style tests
Athletes who want to cheat by injecting themselves with a performance-enhancing drug that boosts their blood cell count can do so with little risk of getting caught, a new study indicates, possibly exposing another flaw in [...] - YOUR FAVORITE SPORTS DRINK — 85% OFF! GET IT, NOW!
June 24th, 2008First, this isn’t an advertisement. It’s just math. Second, relax — YOU don’t even have to do the math.
Cutting to the chase, you can go to your local market right now, if it’s open, and buy Gatorade, for example, for a couple bucks a bottle, or get the exact same Gatorade for less than [...] - Feeling Like Frazz
June 19th, 2008Join the forum discussion on this post - (2) PostsHow often do you feel like Frazz?
- Does it “Matter”?
June 7th, 2008The Cranky Mechanic
One of my favorite cycling photos is the one of Albert Einstein riding a bicycle in a suit.
He also once said, “matter can’t be created or destroyed”. Yes there is nothing better than playing hooky and going out for an afternoon ride. But “matter can’t be created…”, I beg to [...] - Sign of the Times: Bicycle Drive-By Shooting
May 30th, 2008Join the forum discussion on this post - (1) PostsWe here at Bicycle.net have long been advocates of commuting by bike and anything to reduce pollution and to save on now-exorbitant gasoline costs. Not sure what to make of this bit of news from Milwaukee, today… Is it progress?
Milwaukee Police Investigate Bike-By [...] - Amateur Racing Update From America’s Breadbasket
May 21st, 2008Okay, so this year it seems the common thread of logic, is that to attract good money-paying racers one has to claim they’ve got the GOD AWFUL HARDEST race course e-e-e-ever.
In our case, it’s called Hellbender - but not for reasons you would think - and it proclaims it is BAR NONE the hardest [...] - US ENERGY CRISIS UPDATE
May 21st, 2008Gas prices are too high, right? Absolutely unbelievable — somebody should do something about this, shouldn’t they? How can we get by paying $4 a gallon? Who’s getting rich off this? Why doesn’t the government step in?
Those thoughts - headlines - rants - often go through my mind as I ride. Sitting on a bike [...] - WHEN THE BARTER SYSTEM DOESN’T WORK THERE’S ALWAYS SUSAN B. ANTHONY
May 14th, 2008For the longest time, I’ve thought the spectrum of bike riding folks who shop at our store had no end or beginning. Lately though, I’m convinced that I beat Stephen Hawking in finding both ends of the universe. Granted, it’s just both ends of a puny little universe confined by four concrete walls but [...]
- Is Green Is The New Extreme?
May 3rd, 2008Original Essay by: The Cranky Mechanic
All right stop. Collaborate and listen.
Remember way back in the last century when Vanilla Ice unleashed “Ice Ice Baby” on our unsuspecting ears?
Not only did he give us the gift of the greatest one hit wonder followed by the saddest career this side of Dana Plato, his flowing prose launched [...] - The Cranky Mechanic - “The New….”
April 15th, 2008By: Uncle Chad
Look at all the shiny new bikes. Seems like a $6000 rig is today’s flavor of the month. I recently walked into a coffee shop at the end of a ride, and began a conversation with a 50-something. Who knows these days. She commented that cycling has become the “new golf”, [...] - Italy’s Eddy Mazzoleni ‘Oil for Drug’ Affair BAN - Two Years
April 8th, 2008Join the forum discussion on this post - (2) Posts ROME, April 8, 2008 (AFP) - Eddy Mazzoleni, third in last year’s Tour of Italy (Giro d’Italia), has been handed a two-year ban by the Italian Cycling Federation (FCI) for his involvement in the “Oil for Drug” affair, the FCI said on [...]
- Photoshopping Today’s News: The Silver Lining of the Midwest Floods
March 20th, 2008Tired of taunts of “like a fish without a bicycle” and “you run like an octopus”, Aquaman finally gets even…
Related headline: Got Flood Insurance? Owners Urged To Be Ready - My Husband Has Begun To Drool - Here Comes the Amgen Tour of California
February 22nd, 2008Originally, I thought the Tour of California sounded like a lovely family-friendly vacation involving, perhaps, an RV and the Redwoods while my children were galloping through fields of poppies.
There must be a big bicycle race coming to California. I can tell with almost complete accuracy when there are exciting happenings in the cycling world. [...] - How Do You Say “Cycling Apartheid” in French? (SATIRE)
February 13th, 2008Apartheid is an Afrikaans word meaning “separation” or “being apart”.
[SATIRE... sort of]
Is it now accurate to use apartheid to describe a policy that exists in France in the latter 20th and early 21st centuries? This system is used to mistreat and deny opportunity to superior non-French cyclists. The ASO allowed the French minority to [...] - New Year’s Resolution To Nowhere
January 21st, 2008New Year’s Resolution to go Nowhere.
Hello there. My name’s Bobby. I work at a bike shop. Actually, I’ve worked in a few bike shops over the years. I didn’t really set out to. It was just something that sorta happened on its own during college. I was enough of a fixture at my neighborhood [...] - How To Get Even With A Cyclist
December 7th, 2007I have always wondered why drivers do not do this more often to cyclists. Let’s just be glad they don’t.
- In the what were they thinking category - We Introduce the Breakfast Tray
November 30th, 2007Eating while driving is inadvisable and very dangerous, but at least you have a bunch of “car” between you and the thing you are about to run into. Not so when you’re on a bicycle, which is why this BreakFast tray, seen at the PanDan site–which holds your breakfast AND has a slot for a [...]
- What If Lance Armstrong did the Ironman Triathlon
November 21st, 2007
- Here is why you should ride a bike drunk
November 10th, 2007
- The Bicycle Players “American Beauty” by the MS Society
October 17th, 2007This is a very funny parody of a small stage presentation. It is titled the “American Beauty” by the Bicycle Players. I can remember my first time too, all that pressure to not let my partner down. Watch this video and tell me you can’t relate.
- Landis: Almost Naked, Sent Up the River Without a Pedal
September 21st, 2007Floyd Landis: Up the River Without a Pedal.
Space for rent? - New Cycling Speed Record, With Video
September 20th, 2007130mph? On a bike. Yeah… right. Yes, right!
Enough with the news about Floyld Landis for a moment… gravity beats chemistry as Austrian rider Markus Stoeckl used a Chilean ski slope with a 45 degree drop to get up to speed. The 33-year-old broke the world record for downhill series mountain bikes [...] - Floyd Landis’ Baggage - HUMOR
September 20th, 2007Gotta hand it to Floyd for plugging along…
- “The Onions” take on Le Tour de France
September 4th, 2007PARIS—A small but enthusiastic crowd of several dozen was on hand at the Tour de France’s finish line on the Avenue des Champs-Élysées Tuesday to applaud the efforts of the 28 cyclists who completed the grueling 20-stage, 2,208.3-mile race without the aid of performance-enhancing drugs.
Great Britain’s Bradley Wiggins finished the final 56km time trial in [...]
- Do These Bike Shorts Make My Butt Look Big?
August 3rd, 2007Lycra, anyone?
“I bought you something,” said my husband, as he went through the mail after work. These are words a wife enjoys hearing. Not because of the item, mind you, but because it’s nice to know they’ve been thinking of us. He tears open a package and hands me something in a [...] - Le Farce de France - Doping Excuses
July 26th, 2007Time to look back at our Top 5 Doping Excuses in Cycling
- SURVIVOR: Tour de France Edition [humor]
July 26th, 2007With the elimination of contenders coming fast and furious, I was inspired:
- The Cyclists
June 16th, 2007Check out Monkey Dust’s The Cyclists.
Cyclists are above the laws of nature. We knew that. This is just more smug. A lot more smug. Funnily smug.
And don’t worry, your dog is biodegradable. - Floyd Landis Scoffs At Paris Hilton: Pics!
June 10th, 2007Laugh all you want… scoffers!
See the evidence of 2006 Tour de France winning cyclist Floyd Landis scoffing at the Paris Hilton, yourselves!And is there any truth to the rumor that the troubled Miss Hilton will demand that a certain well-known French lab known for its incompetence test her specimens?
You want real news on the weekend? [...] - Floyd Landis to Paris Hilton: No!
June 8th, 2007Floyd Landis, who won’t be competing in this year’s Tour de France, is unlikely to stay at the Paris Hilton, choosing to stay far from alcohol, EPO and other risky substances.
We at Bicycle.net think that Paris could evade the cops by hiding behind her bicycle.
OK, we’re sorry for that.
Sort of.
Not. - Follow-up: Cyclist’s Head Run Over By Truck
May 24th, 2007In Giro Helmet Helps Saves Man Head When He Gets Run Over By Truck, we noted the story of a guy who brakes and flips over his handle bars and his luckily Giro-helmeted head is run over by a truck.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, here are a few thousand more:How this happens:
Of [...]
- Monday Cycling Movie - You Can Lead a Horse to the Peloton…
May 7th, 2007… but you can’t make it downshift without a jockey pulley.
Apparently from the Tour de France.
- Frank Zappa Teaches Steve Allen to “Blow the Bicycle”
April 29th, 2007Long before Howard Stern fans would call shows to yell “Bababooey”, before Jay Leno, before Johnny Carson, there was Steve Allen… with a beardless and deadpan-funny Frank Zappa goofing on Steve and his studio audience with two bicycles, two drumsticks and a bow.
Welcome to the Tonight Show, circa 1963:
Watch: Part 1 | [...] - VeloWife: The Real Race
April 27th, 2007Imagine this. It is 4:30 am on the morning of your bike race. You, the friendly neighborhood cyclist, are fast asleep. You spent an hour or so the night before setting out all of your gear, maybe a little longer making sure that your bike was perfect and that you printed out [...]
- Beer Bike — The Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of Cycling
April 27th, 2007Does anyone remember the old Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups commercial where someone eating while carrying chocolate collides with someone else eating peanut butter?
How could a half century of anything named Beer Bike be a bad thing?
Started on a whim by three students in 1957, Rice’s cycling and chugging competition has grown into a well-organized event [...] - Rumor Mill: The Real Reason Lance Armstrong Left Sheryl Crow
April 22nd, 2007Would you want to be anywhere near a bicycle used by or downwind of someone who used only one sheet of toilet paper?
“only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”.
Maybe Lance Armstrong left Sheryl Crow for using only one sheet of toilet paper [...] - Monday Cycling Movie - Learning Bicycle Safety from Monkeys
April 16th, 2007OK, I admit I have a dark sense of humor, but after getting chewed out in the comments for the previous video where children had non-serious bike accidents, I figured I’d toss this out for your amusement. It runs just under 10 minutes but the expressions prior to the accidents are pure 1950’s kitsch… and [...]
- Monday Cycling Movie - Cycling’s Funniest Painful Home Videos
April 2nd, 2007Disclaimer: Bicycle.net does NOT approve of allowing children to ride without proper safety gear. While in most clips in the above montage, the pratfalls were of adults, it seems that there was no serious injury to any of the children. We hope that parents will see how easy it is to get [...]
- The View From The Back (of the peleton that is)
March 19th, 2007Last Sunday (3/11/07) was the Murrieta (which happens to be the home town of Floyd Landis) criterium bike race. I decided to go to this race well over 2 months without really looking at what I was getting myself into. I went online, signed up and completely forgot about this race until a [...]
- Monday Cycling Movie - Bicycle Repairman
March 5th, 2007For Monty Python and cycling fans.
- Musings Of A Cycling Wife
February 27th, 2007It is a beautiful Sunday morning in Southern California. In our surrounding neighborhood there are families going for walks, breakfasting at the Coffee Bean, or enjoying a lazy morning at home. At any given moment in my house there is a baby attached to my chest and two preschoolers who are either:
a) fighting, [...] - Shaved Legs and Cycling — Ask Chewbacca
February 23rd, 200712 Mar 2007: Welcome About.com readers.
Today’s Amgen Tour of California website asks Ian Lurie “Why the shaved legs”?
Bicycle.net, ever on the cutting edge of bicycle blogging journalism got an exclusive interview with a famous cycling Wookie who breaks with tradition.
Why The Shaved Legs?
By Chewbacca (translated from Wookie using Babelfish)
Whenever I tell anyone that I [...] - Monday Cycling Movie: Thrill of Victory… Agony of Defeating Yourself
February 18th, 2007Here is how NOT to finish a bike race.
Yeah I win!
Crap I’m out of control!
More crap, I’m down!
Swimming in crap, I LOSE! - DNA Tests Confirmed — Cyclist Ivan Basso Cleared!
February 16th, 2007Ivan Basso DNA test proven cleared
Photos of Ivan Basso with Anna Nicole Smith neither confirmed nor denied by the staff of Bicycle.net.
< / humor > - Holy Unibet Uniform Intellectual Property Rights Litigation, Batman!
February 8th, 2007I had a serious case of deja vu when I saw the new uniforms on the controversial Unibet.com cyclists:
Oh, wait, that’s not them.
CyclingNews reports
Unibet’s win made a strong statement after their inclusion in the race was threatened earlier this week. Just before the race, organizers granted permission for Unibet to take the start, but [...] - Top 5 Doping Excuses in Cycling
January 29th, 2007Copied shamelessly from Cycling Training Tips, a blog we’ll be referring to more frequently:
Top 5 Doping Excuses in Cycling:Tyler Hamilton: “I have a twin that was never born. That’s why my blood contains a different blood type than my ownâ€
Floyd Landis: “I had some beers and whiskeys last night. I have a very high natural [...] - Newbie Looks at a Bicycle Glossary
November 16th, 2006So I looked at the bicycle glossary, and I’ll admit I had different definitions:
Attack: General Patton’s favorite word.
Baby head: On top of baby neck.
Block: What my kids like to stack.
Bottom bracket: Where Ivy League football teams are placed in the national rankings.
Bridge: Card game.
Bunny-hop: Not quite as much fun as the Hokey Pokey.
Carbon fiber: What [...]


























